🖤🖤🖤

sorry, i abandoned all social media

The day I let my own fucking parents mock my use of therapy and use my mental illness as a weapon against me to hurt me in an argument will be the day I’m put in the fucking ground because I’ll have to be dead for them to get away with that bullshit.

I wouldn’t talk to a stranger with the kind of vitriol and venom they used with me, much less LET a stranger talk to me like that.

That ONE time that asked you to sing with me would have been so important when I’m trying to get back into it for the first time in almost a decade.

But you heard my voice once and said no.

I’ll never sing again.

antiteen:

i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly

my brother and bf after pulling an all nighter: dear god help me my body will not work and my brain is mush i lust for sleep

me after pulling an all nighter: did you know that i simply don’t ever need to sleep again ever

I got a stone mask from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure made for my brother for his birthday and I’m so excited to give it to him and its so PERFECT

bricklayergay-deactivated202106:

997:

im all of them

I feel like I have this conversation with myself

I finally got into Jojos Bizarre Adventure and it’s been such a wonderful ride. I’m only partially into part 4 but I have been having a BLAST

hey kids don’t self harm or be smarter about it than i was cuz spending a month and a half without using your hand because you sliced your tendons is FUCKING BORING GODDAMN I CANT DO ANYTHING OR IT HURTS AND TUGS ON STITCHES

my therapist told me not to talk to my mother (my main trigger), or anyone, until i was ready.

her response? lash out and send a paragraph to my brother saying we’re terrible children and throw old events in our faces, completely disregarding her own behavior that caused those events.

my dad’s response? goes out of his way to educate himself on my issues, how to deal with my mom, and gives me plenty of space, reminding me he loves me and that we can talk only when im ready.

GEE I WONDER WHO ILL REACH OUT TO FIRST, THE GASLIGHTER WITH A NARCISSISTIC DISORDER WHO PURPOSEFULLY TRIES TO HURT ME OR THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SIMILAR ISSUES AS ME AND IS TRYING HIS BEST TO UNDERSTAND AND RESPECT MY WISHES. HMMMM.

i’ve been medicated for a whole week now and the difference its made in my mindset is astounding. im doing so much better and my brain feels just clearer. it sucks that i have to be medicated but this shows i really did need the help, and i’m proud of myself for taking the help.

i’m even starting to eat normal food amounts throughout the day again without freaking out about how i look or how much i’ll weigh!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!! its been years since i could do that!!!!!!

so many appointments but so much PROGRESS

uhh got sent to grippy sock jail again oops.

the good news is it scared me into taking my mental health and recovery seriously, im tired of being so sick that it hurts the people i care about most. hopefully more positive posts to come soon.